poooopieee

i miss my freshman year grades. i owned those girs.

=( this year classes are owning me. i need self-discipline!!!

i don't wanna workkkkkk

Continue reading...

i don't know what i want

well i know some things i want
-iap
-sleep
-to understand 5.12
-to just curl up in my bed with a book or a movie on my laptop and snuggle in the covers

but i don't know what i want
i want to not have to make hard choices, i want to know what my passion is, i want to know that my life is going somewhere.

i felt like i was forced to make a choice, so i chose. i don't think it was the wrong choice, but i didn't like having a sort of ultimatum, no matter how subtly it was put...but at least there was closure.

what's done is done.

i really need time to recharge in general, but i know i'm not going to get it until after finals.

Continue reading...

ahhhhhhhhh

why am i sick again =( good thing it's almost gone, i think

so i have a problem. it's called procrastination. and it's eating away at my precious sleep time!!! cry cry cry. but i get soooo easily distracted.

on an unrelated note, i feel so out of shape compared to how i was over the summer...i haven't worked out at all since freaking beginning of september. so i'm going to do that over iap but that's what i say for every break and then it doesn't happen. this time it will as i have summoned a new energy. also need to ask linden for openings at the psc. i want to work on campus but nothing where i really have to think like a urop.

i bought a shirt on shirt.woot. SO BAD. oh yeah my other problem is a lack of self-control. actually i think that encompasses procrastination. also it is the reason i have not worked out. anyway hopefully i won't be buying stuff off there all the time...but usually the stuff on there is not that appealing anyway.

i was doing suuuch a good job not buying stuff off the internet this semester...

i feel like i've changed a lot. i think when i stop thinking previous posts are lame (not previous to this one necessarily, but in general...i know what i mean) is when i've stopped changing so much

i should be doing my lab report.

Continue reading...

fuck!!!!

i hate being sick! and i have that stupid 1200-word french essay + 3 freaking tests next week.

i think i only write in here when i'm unhappy bc when i'm content there's nothing to complain about lol

Continue reading...

i'm so tired

okay so i've been getting an average of like 5 hours of sleep a night for the past two weeks and i'm really sleep-deprived.

yesterday i didn't finish my homework due today because i was too tired at 5am.

i think i want people to think that i'm okay because i don't want pity, but i'm tired of trying to be strong all the time. when am i going to find someone i can be vulnerable around? i love my friends and my big but sometimes i just want to be taken care of.

so basically i need people. at the same time, i hate depending on people because i feel like they let me down a lot...

i feel naked and emo now.

Continue reading...

junot diaz

today!! =O i went to the junot diaz discussion and saw jkiberd was there and he was like really funny and nice. and then he was like aww i have to go now for a meet and greet but you all should come to the r&d pub! so i went to the r&d pub for the first time, it was pretty cool but awkward since everyone was old. but then we left the 21 and over place and got some hors-d'oeuvres and i got my book signed! so one of the hor-d'oeuvres was imitation crab on a slice of cucumber. so i was talking to julia and a piece of crab fell on the floor and i went to go pick it up and he was like "aw no honey, don't do that!" and gave me a napkin. awwwww! it was also embarrassing. anyway after that i went to the book reading. when i read the tech last year, his responses made him sound like a jerk but on the colbert report and today he seemed pretty cool

Continue reading...

the whole damn summer

is almost over, cry ='( i can't wait for the rush of running around during orientation though. or seeing everyone come back, getting a new routine for the year, meeting new people, ringcomm!!! (which i am sort of apprehensive about, there are a few people that i'm worried i won't really get along with. well not get along, i pretty much get along with everyone but only because i keep my mean/sarcastic thoughts bottled up and secretly feel resentful), my new room, my new job, more boston adventures...ahhh!!!! so excited.

Continue reading...